Part 7 of James: Don’t Be Friends with the World

James 4:1-10 (CSB)

1 What is the source of wars and fights among you? Don’t they come from your passions that wage war within you? 

2 You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and wage war. You do not have because you do not ask. 

3 You ask and don’t receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.

4 You adulterous people! Don’t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So whoever wants to be the friend of the world becomes the enemy of God. 

5 Or do you think it’s without reason that the Scripture says: The spirit he made to dwell in us envies intensely?

6 But he gives greater grace. Therefore he says: God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.

7 Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 

8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 

9 Be miserable and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 

10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

This chapter continues James’ theme that our actions must line up with our confession of faith. As he said in James 1:22, “But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” Last week, we saw that real wisdom is not just about speaking carefully; wisdom is about living wisely. James contrasted wisdom from above with worldly wisdom. He said that worldly wisdom leads to bitter envy and selfish ambition. And Chapter 3 ended with James stating that, “the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace.”  

Now, as we read this section of James’ letter, we need to remember this is a direct continuation. Chapter 4 picks up by asking two questions. Verse 1 says, “What is the source of wars and fights among you? Don’t they come from your passions that wage war within you?”

Last week, I concluded that the reason our world is so full of disorder and every evil practice is because people follow the world’s idea of wisdom. That’s why wars are started, people are murdered, families break apart, and many struggle to build real friendships. Now, here is James, saying that exact same thing. If Godly wisdom produces righteousness sown in peace, then what causes the opposite? James answers his own question: “What is the source of wars and fights among you?” He says it comes from within—from our selfish desires and passions. And really, as he will explain, the root of our conflict and spiritual failure is this: we’re trying to be friends with the world.

To put it the way James does, it’s our sinful human nature at war within us that causes us not to sow peace but to embrace the world’s wisdom and resist God’s wisdom. It’s our bitter envy and selfish ambition, our pride, our need to be recognized, and our longing to get ahead that makes worldly wisdom so appealing to us. And so, we act like the world.

Verse 2 explains this more. It says, “You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and wage war. You do not have because you do not ask.”

I don’t know that James is accusing these believers of actual murder. It could be that he is referring to what Jesus said in His Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5 about hating our fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord. As 1 John 3:15 warns, “Everyone who hates his brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.”

While James is writing to believers, he may also be speaking in general about human nature. It is bitter envy and selfish ambition that leads to all wars, murder, and coveting. It’s not necessarily that these specific people he’s writing to have ever physically murdered someone, but certainly, the same root of sin that leads to that outcome is present in their fighting with one another. 

That last statement, “You do not have because you do not ask,” might at first glance, seem like he’s shifting topics. But it goes hand in hand, for James is showing us what is underneath all the conflict: people aren’t humbly going to God in prayer. They aren’t asking God for help.

I want to pause for a moment and talk about this. Are you guilty of this, too? Is prayer your first stop or your last-ditch effort? I wonder in our own lives how often we do not have because we have not asked God for His help? I also wonder if sometimes it’s pride that keeps us from asking God for help. We want to do it on our own, or we want things to go our way, so we attempt to do the thing without asking God first.

How many times do people or even ministries make plans without asking God for direction? If we’re honest, we often ask God to bless our plans more than we ask God to reveal His. Pride wants to do all the planning ourselves. Humility seeks help from God first.

James is saying that the reason everyone covets and fights and wages war is because they don’t ask God. Does that mean, then, that if we just ask, we will get what we want? Is James saying to these believers that they don’t need to fight—they just need to ask? This can’t be the full picture, though, because many times we do ask for things from God and do not receive what we want.

Thankfully, James clarifies. He says in verse 3, “You ask and don’t receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.”

Again, this is so true. So many times, we ask God for things, but don’t receive the answer we were hoping for. Could it be as James says: our motives are wrong?

This makes me think about what James was saying about purity in Chapter 3, that Godly wisdom is indeed first pure. How many times have we asked God for something, but we do not have pure motives for asking?

I think we’ve probably all asked God for something that, deep down, we knew was more about our comfort or recognition than His glory. Maybe we asked God to help us succeed at something, but not so we could serve Him better— we just wanted to impress the world.

James is telling us that God sees through that. God wants us to ask Him for things, but He will only give us things that align with His will, not just our personal agendas. If we are just asking God to bless the plans that we make instead of prayerfully asking God to show us His plan, then we could be asking Him to bless things that He doesn’t want us to be doing. If we are asking for something that glorifies us, or would ultimately harm us, He is wise to not give us those things. We should be thankful that He doesn’t answer all our prayers the way we hoped He would, especially when our hearts are more focused on worldly success than on glorifying Jesus.

I think this is the point James is trying to make, because going back to our text, he says in verse 4: “You adulterous people! Don’t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So whoever wants to be the friend of the world becomes the enemy of God.”

Like the accusation of murder, I don’t think James is saying these believers are committing literal adultery. His wording reminds me of what Ezekiel 16 talks about in the Old Testament. I don’t know when the last time you read the Book of Ezekiel was, but it’s pretty graphic, as my kids have pointed out. But I think that’s intentional to get the point across. God considers idol worship to be the same thing as adultery. Ezekiel 16:32 shows God exclaiming to the Israelites: “You adulterous wife, who receives strangers instead of her husband!” He’s right to say this, because if we worship anyone or anything but God, it’s as if we’re committing adultery against Him because He has entered a covenantal love relationship with us. I think James is making the same point.

Then he says, “So whoever wants to be the friend of the world becomes the enemy of God.” James is pulling no punches. He’s saying, plainly, don’t love the world. If we’re trying to impress the world, we are not impressing God. In fact, James says that makes us His enemy.

This is because we cannot love the world and love God at the same time. And actually, James doesn’t use one of the stronger Greek words for love, he says friends. We can’t even be friends with the world. I think he uses this word on purpose, because it sounds so innocent. It sounds harmless. I wonder if most people haven’t even realized they’ve become friends with the world.

Some people might even think friendship with the world is a good thing, a wise idea. After all, we live here. Shouldn’t we try and fit in? The problem with that idea is if we become friends with the world, we end up looking just like the world and not like a follower of Christ. Remember, faith without works is dead. Our actions and words have to line up with our confession of faith, and the world and God are polar opposites.

It’s as 1 John 2:15-16 says, “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride in one’s possessions—is not from the Father, but is from the world.”

The world is full of sinful desires, produced from selfishness and pride. We cannot love those things and love God at the same time. God wants us to follow Him and not the world.

The bottom line is this: we cannot have divided loyalties. Going again to the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says in Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters, since either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” We cannot be a friend of the sinful world without becoming an enemy of God. The two are incompatible.

Look what James says next in verse 5: “Or do you think it’s without reason that the Scripture says: The spirit he made to dwell in us envies intensely?”

God says about Himself that He is a jealous God. Just like Exodus 20:5 says, “I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God.” God’s jealousy is a righteous and protective jealousy, though. It’s not a sinful or possessive emotion. Instead, it reflects God’s expectation of exclusive devotion from His people, much like the faithful commitment expected in a marriage. Like a faithful husband, God expects faithfulness from us.

This isn’t always easy to do. I mean, just look at the Old Testament. The Israelites failed miserably at this. Is there any hope for us? We still live in this sinful world, and all day long we are bombarded with arrows from the enemy. We still have our sinful flesh to contend with, too. How do we remain faithful to the Lord?

Just as before in this letter, James is careful to point out the hope we have. Look at what he says in verse 6: “But he gives greater grace. Therefore he says: God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

God is a jealous God, and He will not accept adulterous hearts. If we continue in our pride, He will resist us. But look how unbelievably faithful He is toward us. If we humble ourselves, He will give us grace.

Even in Ezekiel we see the grace God offers us. God wants them to repent of their unfaithfulness and come back to Him. Ezekiel 18:30-32 says, “Repent and turn from all your rebellious acts, so they will not become a sinful stumbling block to you. Throw off all the transgressions you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. Why should you die, house of Israel? For I take no pleasure in anyone’s death. This is the declaration of the Lord God. So repent and live!”

God is so gracious toward us. If we repent, He will let us return to Him. But God’s grace does not give us permission to sin and break God’s laws; rather, grace is the power that enables us to resist sin and follow God’s laws. As James says, “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.” God’s grace is not just what we need after we mess up, it’s the power that helps us live humbly and resist temptation in the first place.

Since God gives grace to the humble, how do we become humble? How do we repent?

James tells us how. Verses 7-10 give us the way to stop being friends with the world and return to God. He says: “Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”

That’s a lot of information, so let’s break it down. The first thing we are to do is: “submit to God.” Pride would have us resist the Lord’s leading. But we need to submit ourselves to God. We need to yield to God’s ways and submit to His plans.

Second, we are told to “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” As Barnes’ Notes on the Bible says, “While you yield to God in all things, you are to yield to the devil in none.”

We must resist the devil and his “wisdom.” We cannot compromise and embrace the things of this world. We need to reject worldly wisdom. The world’s wisdom might look good at first, but anything that causes us to be selfish or self-centered is not from God. We must resist it. If we do that, then the devil will flee from us. When the devil sees that his temptation has failed, he will move on, just as the devil left Jesus after trying to tempt him in the desert. After Jesus resisted all the devil's attempts, the devil fled.

Third, we are to “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” We are to deliberately come close to God. In Matthew 7:7, Jesus said, “Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you.” How do we do this? Primarily, we should seek the Lord in prayer and in reading His Word. As we do that, the Holy Spirit will speak to our hearts, softening them so they may be molded according to His will.

This goes directly with the second half of this same verse, which is the fourth thing we are to do if we want to humble ourselves before the Lord. We are instructed to: “Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

As we spend time in prayer and in the Word of God, then the Holy Spirit will convict us of sin in our lives. He will show us where we need to repent, and He will bring us into alignment with His Word. As we repent and ask for forgiveness, God will forgive us and cleanse us so we will no longer waver in our faith or be double-minded. As James 1:8 says, the double-minded person is unstable in all his ways.  If we are being friends with the world, we need to humbly repent and confess our sin so we can follow the Lord without duality of heart.

I think this also looks back to what James 3:17 said: “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without pretense.” Throughout this whole letter, James is emphasizing that we must be consistent in all that we do. Our actions must line up with our words, and our words must line up with our professed faith. We must single-mindedly follow the Lord.

The final and fifth step that James mentions was something I had to meditate on. James says, “Be miserable and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.” Why do you think James gives this instruction? After all, shouldn’t repentance lead to joy? I think James says we should mourn and weep because real repentance affects us deeply. If we are indifferent, it isn’t real repentance.  

Take it from someone who’s been there. A long time ago, I was a person who misunderstood God’s grace and asked God to forgive me for sins, but I did not really mean it. I took it for granted. It was not sincere.

But then I drew near to the Lord, and He truly convicted me of my sins. In mourning and weeping, I repented and asked for forgiveness, and it brought great sorrow and despair in my heart. I was miserable and grieved because the Lord showed me my sin. In my case, that was when I became a Christian and drew near to God.

All of us, no matter how long we have been a Christian, can take comfort in knowing that when the Lord convicts our hearts, the sorrow of true repentance draws us nearer to Him. As Psalm 51:17 says, “The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. You will not despise a broken and humbled heart, God.”

God is not fooled by insincere regret. We cannot be pretentious and fake and think God will forgive us. We must humble ourselves before the Lord. There is no room for pride.

When we do those things, we will experience hardship and mourning as we die to ourselves and let go of pride. But we are not left in a state of mourning and sorrow. As Psalm 30:11 says, God turns our mourning into dancing. Just as God turned my mourning into dancing, so too will He lift you up. Remember how James ended this section. He said, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”

Jesus stated this same thing, by the way. In Matthew 23:12, He says, “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” This is why we do not need to worry about trying to exalt ourselves. In God’s time, He will reward us for all the things we have done out of obedience to Him. We don’t need to follow the world’s advice and seek glory for ourselves.

Maybe He will reward you with blessings in this lifetime, or maybe your blessings will be given to you in eternity, but 1 Peter 5:6-7 tells us, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your cares on him, because he cares about you.”

So, let us look into the mirror of God’s Word and answer these questions honestly: Am I trying to fool God? Am I filled with pride, wanting God to bless my plans? Or am I asking God to lead me? Am I being a friend of the world, listening to the world and following its advice? Am I loving the world? Or am I drawing near to God and listening to His commands?

However you answered those questions, let us be people who humble ourselves before our God. Let us cast off our pride and surrender fully to Him. Let’s stop being friends with the world. God alone deserves our love and faithfulness. God loves us and desires what is best for us. And as we submit to Him, He will faithfully lead and guide us, growing peace in our hearts and fruit in our lives so we can share Christ with the world around us.

Pray: Heavenly Father, we thank You that You loved us so much that You sent us Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. Please help us to draw near to You with humble hearts, submitting our lives to You each day. Help us to stop being friends with the world, and instead submit our lives to Your leading, so we can be better and better reflections of the Savior we follow. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.