Part 7 of Ephesians: Put on the New Self

Ephesians 4:17-32 (CSB)

17 Therefore, I say this and testify in the Lord: You should no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thoughts. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them and because of the hardness of their hearts. 19 They became callous and gave themselves over to promiscuity for the practice of every kind of impurity with a desire for more and more.

20 But that is not how you came to know Christ, 21 assuming you heard about him and were taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to take off your former way of life, the old self that is corrupted by deceitful desires, 23 to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, the one created according to God’s likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth.

25 Therefore, putting away lying, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another. 26 Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and don’t give the devil an opportunity. 28 Let the thief no longer steal. Instead, he is to do honest work with his own hands, so that he has something to share with anyone in need. 29 No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear. 30 And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by him for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. 32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.

These sixteen verses are the rest of Ephesians chapter 4. We looked at the first half of this chapter last week. Remember, Paul started the chapter by saying, “Therefore I, the prisoner in the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received,” then he explained why we need to become mature in the Lord and strive for unity in the body of Christ. It is so we can attain a “maturity with a stature measured by Christ’s fullness.” To summarize his points, we believers should live in such a way that the body of Christ can be recognizable as being led by the head, who is Jesus Christ. Now Paul is explaining in more detail how we are to do this. He starts off by saying in verse 1, “Therefore, I say this and testify in the Lord: You should no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thoughts.” Here, the use of Gentile is referring to unbelievers. These Gentiles had already become Christians, so Paul doesn’t mean them. He is telling the Ephesians, don’t live like the unbelievers do because their thinking is futile. Their thinking is in vain, it’s useless.

Then he expands on this thought in verses 18-19 and states, “They are darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them and because of the hardness of their hearts. They became callous and gave themselves over to promiscuity for the practice of every kind of impurity with a desire for more and more.”

There are a lot of points being made in those two sentences. Paul says the unbelievers’ minds do not understand. Their way of thinking is futile because they are separated from the life God wants for them because they don’t know God. They are ignorant. They haven’t been taught. Their hearts are hard. Their hearts are hard and calloused because their consciouses aren’t working properly, because they obviously don’t have the Holy Spirit inside of them, prompting them to act accordingly. They have become so desensitized to what is right and wrong that they’ve given themselves over to immorality. They are participating in “every kind of impurity.” Then he tacks on, “with a desire for more and more.” This is the Greek word pleonexia, and it means greediness. Paul is saying this impurity they are taking part in, it’s never enough and they just want to do these immoral things more and more: they are greedy for more and more sin.

This description of the Gentiles sure sounds like people today. Actually, it sounds like people at any point in history. Unfortunately, it’s not just unbelievers who live this way. Unbelievers, of course, do things that are immoral. And sin does not satisfy them and so they keep looking for more and more sin, hoping to be satisfied. They do this, Paul says, because they haven’t been taught any differently. They are ignorant and their hearts are hard to the Holy Spirit. But what about believers? We have no excuse when we participate in immoral things. It must mean that we have lost sensitivity, and our hearts are becoming calloused.

Remember the old warning about the frog in the kettle? I think that is a danger that all people face. We live in the world and so it’s difficult to avoid the fate of the frog. He is placed in a pot of water and at first, it’s enjoyable. The heat is on though, and the water keeps getting hotter. He doesn’t notice that the heat keeps rising. He can’t tell anymore that the water is markedly hotter than it was before. He’s become desensitized to the temperature. Then, before he can realize it, the water gets hot enough that he dies. He was too ignorant to jump out of the pot. That’s what can happen to us, too. We risk becoming desensitized to sin if we just sit in the pot of society and aren’t on guard. Over time, our society keeps turning up the heat of sin and we won’t be repulsed enough to jump out of the pot if we have been soaking in the same water as everyone else. We risk being cooked along with everyone else. This is just a clever metaphor, but the message is correct. How do we avoid finding ourselves becoming cooked in the temperature rising pot?

We can’t pull ourselves out of this world, but we can take steps to keep from losing sensitivity. A simple precaution to take is to limit things that desensitize us. In my life, one of the many gifts having children has given me is I started looking at things through my children’s eyes. When my eldest started watching tv, right away I noticed how inappropriate, manipulative and full of propaganda commercials are. We made a family rule that if commercials came on tv, the kids either left the room or we turned the tv off until the commercial was over. That might seem extreme to some people, but we took seriously our responsibility as their parents to guard their hearts and eyes. I have spent countless hours reading reviews on the content of shows, movies, video games and books, in order to help preserve their sensitivity. Working at guarding their hearts revealed to me just how much I had become desensitized. I felt convicted to reevaluate the entertainment that I was consuming. Evaluating things through their eyes made me realize I was sitting in a pot that had gotten hotter and hotter, and I hadn’t realized it. This realization means that my family skips a lot of popular culture. It means we end up watching old tv shows because the new ones are usually full of garbage. I’d much rather we “miss out” on the latest thing than find ourselves desensitized. Maybe someone reading this might think, “well that’s a fine and good when kids are little, but teenagers won’t be so cool with it. They will just rebel and resent you.” I wondered about that, too. Now that my kids are older and two are adults, I’ve asked them if they feel like they missed out on anything or resent us for our restrictions. They’ve told me they are thankful that we guarded them and kept them from all the garbage. Now that they have the freedom to choose what they watch and read, they have continued to be very choosy. They’ve also said that if we, their parents, didn’t restrict what we ourselves watch and read, it would have been different. Then they would have felt like we were unfair. But we model to them the importance of being careful about what we expose ourselves to and so they don’t resent us. In fact, the older kids really look out for the youngest and will even pre-read content and look up parent reviews to see if the youngest should watch or read something. It’s a family effort to guard all our hearts and minds from becoming desensitized. All of us agree that the effort is worth the payoff.

I know from personal experience, that when I have become lazy in what I allow into my mind, the water heats rapidly, and over my thirty + years of following Jesus, when I haven’t been intentional in guarding myself from things that desensitize me to sin, I’ve found myself too quickly in hot water. My prayer, for myself and my family, is that the God of peace will guard and keep our minds on Christ Jesus and that we will follow the instruction, “Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—dwell on these things.” (Philippians 4:7-8). If we don’t make careful effort to not lose our sensitivity to sin, we will quickly come to think of sin as no big deal. All sin starts in our minds. We must be on guard and always ask the Holy Spirit to renew our minds and help us evaluate, according to God’s standard and not the world’s standard, what is ok to put into our minds.

Paul then says, in verses 20-24, that the unbelievers don’t know any better, “But that is not how you came to know Christ, assuming you heard about him and were taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus, to take off your former way of life, the old self that is corrupted by deceitful desires, to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, the one created according to God’s likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth.”

He reminds them they are to put off their former way of life, their old self. Their old mind was corrupted. Now they have a new way of thinking and living. But did you notice Paul’s language use in these verses? This process doesn’t happen automatically. He says, put off the old self, put on the new mind. Those are actions we are to take. We have to participate in that effort. I like what MacLaren has to say about this verse. He says Paul is using a metaphor as of a garment that is given to us, and “Our task is not to weave it, but to wear it. It is made and ready.”

Keeping that metaphor, if someone becomes a Christian but lives the same way he or she lived before becoming a Christian- that person is still trying to wear their old clothes, they haven’t put on the new garment. If a Christian lives the same way all non-Christians live, and looks just like the world, something is terribly wrong. If a Christian watches the same movies, listens to the same music, reads the same books or websites that the world does, that person is sitting “comfortably” in an old garment. To go back to my former metaphor of the pot of hot water: if they don’t come to their senses and jump out of that hot water, it’s only a matter of time until they are cooked. If we have come to know Christ, and this is the true and unchanging Jesus Christ we read about in the Word of God, then we know that we are no longer to live like unbelievers do. We must put off the old self, be transformed and renewed in our minds.

For not only are we to change the way we think, but we have a whole new self that is “created according to God’s likeness in righteousness and holiness.” Our new self is our new identity. This echoes what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and see, the new has come!” Since that is true for all of us Christians, why would we willingly hold on to our old identity or way of living or allow our new minds to become corrupted again?

Then Paul adds a series of directives. In verses 25-27 he says, “Therefore, putting away lying, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another. Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and don’t give the devil an opportunity.”

I think this section can be read in a couple of ways. The first is that we should not lie, but speak the truth, and if we are angry, we should not let our anger turn into sin. We should try to resolve our issues with one another before the sun goes down, otherwise we could give the devil a foothold. This is logical for the longer we hold on to anger, the angrier we can become and that can lead us to do something that we will regret. Instead, we should work toward reconciliation to preserve unity within the body of Christ.

But I think we can look at what Paul is saying and see it a second way. It seems to me Paul is saying we should be honest with one another, and if we become righteously angry when we see our fellow Christians living contrary to God’s Word, we can be angry about it, but we shouldn’t sin. We should speak the truth in love to our fellow Christians and do it quickly so as we don’t give the devil any further opportunity to do more harm. If we don’t speak the truth in love, we are letting people live a lie. For if we excuse other Christians’ sin, we are propagating their “lies.” We need to speak truth to our neighbor Christians, because we are “members of one another.” We are one family, and we need to help each other live in truth, following what Christ’s Word says.

Paul’s next directives are quite varied. In verses 28-30, he says, “Let the thief no longer steal. Instead, he is to do honest work with his own hands, so that he has something to share with anyone in need. No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear. And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by him for the day of redemption.”

The first directive is that anyone who is stealing must stop stealing and instead get a job: be productive, instead of lazy. That way, Paul says, we have something to share with those in need. As we help our struggling fellow believers, that helps build unity within the body of Christ.

Next, he tells the Ephesians to watch the words that come out of their mouths. That means that we should be careful to not use foul language or tell vulgar jokes. We shouldn’t tear people down. Our talk is supposed to build each other up. The internet has it made it so common and easy for everyone to insult each other and tear one another down. Our words are powerful, though, and they are an overflow of our heart. In Matthew 12:34b, Jesus says, “the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.” Jesus also goes on to warn, “I tell you that on the day of judgment people will have to account for every careless word they speak. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:36-37).

That makes me want to be very careful about what I say! Not only should we evaluate if our words are unwholesome, but we should ask ourselves, does this build others up? Does what I am about to say benefit those who are listening to me?

Then Paul sums up those directives by saying we will grieve the Holy Spirit if we do not follow God’s ways. We grieve Him because He is working in us, speaking to our hearts, prompting us to do the right thing, and if we ignore or dismiss Him, He is grieved.

Then Paul mentions anger again, but in this verse, it is not justified anger but is more like rage. Verse 31 says, “Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice.” I don’t know who said this originally, but “Bitterness is drinking poison, hoping that someone else dies.” In this verse, anger and wrath are not righteous but unjustified. Shouting and slander are terms for pointless fighting. And “all malice” is any wickedness, hate, or evil. All those actions are unfitting behavior for followers of Christ.

Finally, in verse 32, Paul tells the Ephesians, and us as God speaks to us through His Word, “And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.”

Kindness is vital for unity of any kind. In marriage, couples who are kind to one another have happier marriages. Siblings who are kind to each other get along better. Employers who are kind to their employees have happier workplaces. We should not underestimate the power of kindness. Of course, kindness does not mean that we overlook problems. It just means that we address the problems from a place of love- just like Paul meant when he said that we must speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).

Kindness and compassion go together, but they differ from one another. According to Strong’s Concordance, the Greek word for compassion in this verse is eusplagchnos, which translated is tenderhearted or compassionate. Tenderhearted means merciful, soft, and sensitive; the opposite of heard-hearted or calloused. We are to be kind and sensitive. Lest anyone thinks that means sensitive as in easily offended, this is not that kind of sensitive. The unbelievers who have wrong thinking have “lost all sensitivity.” I wondered if that word would be the same Greek word, but verse 19 is froapalgeó: to cease to feel pain for, become callous. That is the same concept, though. If we become insensitive to sin, that means we cease to feel pain about it. We cease to have regret or shame. It means we’ve become callous about sin and simply aren’t bothered by it. Whether that is sin we are participating in or sin in the form of being insensitive to hurting other people with our words or actions, it is all the same. And when we do those things, remember Paul said, we don’t just tear down others or tear down unity, but we grieve the Holy Spirit. Is there any hope for us?

The hope is found at the end of that verse. It says, “forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” Paul is giving them hope, for he reminds them of forgiveness. The thing is, we will fail, and we will hurt each other. It seems to be impossible to be kind and tender-hearted all the time. We get stressed out or sick. We get emotionally wounded, hungry, or are in a hurry. When that happens and we hurt one another, Paul gives us the solution to the hurt: forgiveness.

Because no spouse, family or friend is perfect, the other element which all relationships need to function in unity is people who know how to forgive each other. Forgiveness wipes the slate clean and offers a chance to start fresh. Bitterness, on the other hand, is what grows when forgiveness is missing. Bitterness is holding on to the hurt. Forgiveness is letting go of the wrong.

Within the body of Christ, we must extend forgiveness if we want to build unity. How different would our churches be if everyone within the church followed Paul’s directives? Imagine if we only spoke to each other with words that built up one another up? Imagine if the church treated everyone with kindness and showed compassion. What would happen if we all no longer lived in the sinful ways that unbelievers live? I’m afraid to say that the body of Christ, and our whole society, would look a lot different than it does today. Since we do not operate in this way perfectly, we have two choices. We can be bitter and give up, or we can forgive one another as Christ forgives us, and speak the truth in love.

I maintain God is instructing us, through Paul’s letter, to not only forgive one another, but to speak the truth in love. Paul is adamant about this. Remember, he started this section off by stating emphatically, “Therefore, I say this and testify in the Lord: You should no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thoughts.” Some translations say, he “insists on it.” These are not just the words of an apostle over 2,000 years ago to a long-forgotten group of believers. This message is for us today, because this is the word of the Lord. That means that we cannot dismiss his instructions. Yet, we are not without hope. That is why this verse ends with the reminder that Christ has forgiven us.

Because Jesus died on the cross for our sin, He offers us forgiveness. He shows us kindness and compassion. He showed the greatest love of all time by dying for us. We in no way deserve this love, yet He did it so He could forgive us for our sins. We may sometimes feel that forgiving someone who harmed us is too costly. I think that’s a deception the devil likes to use on us. When we forgive each other, it lifts the burden of bitterness and anger away. Extending forgiveness only costs us the right to be angry. Whereas extending forgiveness cost Jesus His life. When we think about what He did for us, why would we withhold forgiveness from each other?

But it is costly to follow God’s Word. It costs us our old selves, our old thoughts, our rights to live our lives as we want to live. But our return on that cost is immeasurable. Matthew 16:24-27 tells us, “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of me will find it. For what will it benefit someone if he gains the whole world yet loses his life? Or what will anyone give in exchange for his life? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will reward each according to what he has done.’” This new life we find when we die to ourselves is so much greater than our old life. There is really no comparison.

In MacLaren’s Commentary, he says this about Paul’s directives to the Ephesians: “They are all small matters-bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, evil-speaking, malice, stealing, lying, and the like; very ‘homely’ transgressions, if I may so say. Yes, and if you pile enough of them upon the spark that is in your hearts you will smother it out. Sin, the wrenching of myself away from the influences, not attending to the whispers and suggestions, being blind to the teaching of the Spirit through the Word and through Providence: these are the things that ‘grieve the Holy Spirit of God.’”

As MacLaren said, all these prohibitions of Paul, if we don’t take heed and root them out of our lives, they all add up. All those things might seem like no big deal. In fact, it is “normal life” for unbelievers. That’s why Paul began this chapter by saying, “Therefore I, the prisoner in the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received.” We must walk worthy of our calling and not walk the way unbelievers do. We must follow God’s Word and follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit and put off all the ways of the world. Let us put off our old selves, and put on the new self which Christ has woven for us: putting off all the sin that grieves the Holy Spirit. In summary, let us imitate Christ.

In chapter 5, Paul will give even more directives. Before we get there, let us examine our hearts and minds and ask the Lord to help us put off these “small matters” of sin, and be more like Him and less like the world.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, we ask that You would help us to become more sensitive to sin. Help us view sin the way You do. Help us to be repulsed by sin so we jump out of the waters of sin. Please show us any areas in our lives and hearts in which we need to repent and change. And please forgive us. We need Your Holy Spirit to help us and speak to us. We welcome Your conviction, and we rejoice in Your forgiveness. We love You and thank You for Jesus, and in His name we pray, amen.